.

Can't tell you when it started - ain't that strange?
No crash, no sirens, just a slow exchange.
Every wall around me, I built 'em brick by brick,
called the whole thing "patience," man, I lied so quick.

I know what I'd say if I wasn't me -
"get up, go outside," yeah, easy, easy.
Knowing's not doing, though -
I know, I know, I know.

Am I lazy? Tell me straight -
no, don't! It can't be something that light, that small.
There's gotta be more, there's gotta be weight -
'cause if it's just lazy, then I wasted it all
on a door that was never even locked!
I checked it every night!
Never got up, never walked, never knocked -
I checked it from here, it looked locked tight.
(It looked locked tight!)


There's a photo in the hallway, me and him at sixteen,
laughing with our whole faces - summer evergreen.
We hadn't talked in years and then I heard he died -
I got the concept down, it just won't get inside.
I'm not sixteen, I'm almost twenty-two, I swear I know the score,
so why's it never dawning? He's still standing at my door.
Out of everybody breathing, he deserved the most of me -
I let them all drift off, and he drifted out to sea.

Used to have a head full of sparks and plans,
now it's just a station playing static jams -
every thought I reach for gets buried in the buzz,
how do people think? I forget how it was.
(How it was, how it was...)

Then Jane moved in - I let her, I let her stay.
No smoke, no horns - I just looked away.
She laughs on time, remembers every name -
(even his - even his)
she waters the roses - reddest on the lane.
She handles the talking, she settles the tab,
says the whole thing's cheap - small change, grab a cab.
I stopped counting what it costs a while back.
Whatever keeps the quiet - I don't ask.

Am I lazy? Quit the game -
I've asked ten thousand nights, the answer stays the same:
either the truth is ugly or the truth's a lie,
and I hate what I've let me become - there, said it, bye!
Funny how the worst confession
sounds sweet when the tempo's high -
the door was never locked, never locked,
and I never, never tried.

I'll try tomorrow!
(That's what you said before!)
I'll try tomorrow!
(You mean it less and more...)
The door was never locked, love -
that's the joke, that's the thread:
I did this to myself -
(should've called before it burned)
and I'm tired, tired, tired -
that's all she said.