Bohemian Rapsody IT Edition

[Intro]
Is this the real LAN?
Is this just TCP/IP?
Caught in a packet flood,
No escape from OSI.

[Verse 1]
Open Wi-Fi, little user,
Life had just begun,
But now I’ve got a firewall
Blocking all my fun.
Open sockets, ooooh,
Didn’t mean to drop that ping,
If I’m not back in DHCP,
Carry on, carry on, let the packets ring!

[Verse 2]
Too late, my ping is gone,
Sends shivers down my spine,
Layers crashing one by one,
I’m trapped in IPv6.
User data, ooooh,
I sometimes wish I’d never logged in at all.

[Refrain]
Is this the real LAN?
Is this just TCP/IP?
Caught in the network stack,
No escape from the OSI.

Layer One, Layer Two, Layer Three, Layer Four,
Packets flying through, can’t take it anymore!
Layer Five, Session drive, Layer Six, Presentation,
Layer Seven, HTTP’s heaven!

[Bridge]
I see a little silhouetto of a server,
Switches, routers, firewall – very, very scary me!
Data drop! Data drop!
Can’t ping a thing!
Packet loss! Packet loss!
User rage – yeah!

[Verse 3]
I’m just a poor admin, nobody loves me.
He’s just a poor admin from a poor LAN family,
Spare him his life from this monstrosity.

Easy come, easy go, will you let me log in?
DNS, no! We will not let you log in!
(Let him log in!) DNS! We will not let you log in!
(Let him log in!) We will not let you log in!
(Let me log in!) Will not let you log in!
Never, never, never, never let me log in!

[Finale]
So you think you can stop me and spit in my cable?
So you think you can hack me and leave me unstable?
Oh, server, can’t do this to me, server!
Just gotta backup, just gotta firewall me right!

[Outro]
Packets fly, bits collide,
Every layer in the night,
Nothing really matters,
As long as my LAN is right.