Jubail Alert!

[Intro – MC hype voice, crowd noise, drum roll]
(Ladies and gentlemen!)
[Record scratch, MC pauses]
...Hold up. Look around. Ain't no ladies in here!
(Gentlemen and gentlemen!)
(Just a bunch of fellas and a buffet!)
Welcome to the first annual Jubail Awards!
Get in line, grab your plate, get ready to move...
No partner needed, this a LINE dance!
(Jubail Alert! Jubail Crew!)
Pound the drum all day!
[Heavy drum pounding, bass drum hits]
(BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)

[Chorus – full crew]
Jubail, we're the best site, everybody knows,
LP keeps us rolling and the whole team grows. (Yeah!)
Shoulder to shoulder, every shift, every day,
Good people, strong leadership, leading the way. (Lead the way!)
Jubail, Jubail, let the whole crew sing,
Proud of what we do and the work we bring!

[Verse 1 – Line Dance Call]
Step to the right, two, three, kick,
Back it up, back it up, pivot quick,
(Yassin, it's okay, just follow along!)
Quarter turn, Jubail, clap it twice,
Bump to the left, now ain't that nice!
(Mohamoud... the dance floor, not the food table!)
One crew, one move, one sound,
LP said "rock it," so we shake the ground!

[Post-Chorus – chant, pounding drums]
(Jubail Alert!) Jubail Crew!
(Jubail Alert!) Pound the drum!
(Jubail Alert!) Here we come!

[Roll Call Part 1 – MC voice, drum hit after each name]
[Filipino karaoke party breakdown]
Best Party Planner... Teddy!
Karaoke Party (it's a party, it's a party, Ayy), mic in his hand,
Adobo, pancit, lumpia on the stand!
(KAIN NA!)
(Teddy, put the mic down... one more song? Okay, ONE more!)
[Beat returns to main groove]

Best Note-Taker... Steve!
He wrote every word that LP had to say,
(Hold up... can you repeat that last part?)
(Steve, stop writing, it's a party!)

[Beat switch: dancehall riddim, airhorn]
Fastest in the Fleet... Cleveland!
Speed Racer, Mark 5, foot down all day,
[Jamaican patois MC voice]
(Move, trick! Get outta mi way!)
(Seatbelts, fellas! Seatbelts!)
[Beat returns to main groove]

Most Dangerous Question... Willie!
Danger, danger, Jubail Team!
(We still waiting on that danger pay!)
(Check's in the mail... since forever!)

[Chorus]
Jubail, we're the best site, everybody knows,
LP keeps us rolling and the whole team grows. (Yeah!)
Shoulder to shoulder, every shift, every day,
Good people, strong leadership, leading the way.

[Roll Call Part 2 – MC voice]
Who has the Biggest Appetite?
[Chant]
(Mohamoud! Mohamoud!)
Just ate lunch, now he's back on his feet,
(Ay! What we got to eat?!)
(Somebody hide the kabsa!)

Most Worried Senior... Yassin!
Brand new title, checked it ten times today,
(Are we sure this gon' be okay??)
(Breathe, Yassin, breathe! It's a song, not a deadline!)

Best Dressed Feet... Michael!
New boots every month, a brand-new pair,
(Last month's boots? Don't ask him where!)
(Man got more boots than the Navy!)

Biggest Surprise... Alvi!
Baby on the way, the whole crew in the know,
(He didn't know!!! He didn't know!!!)
(Nine months... and he STILL doesn't know!)

Wednesday Phone Call Award... Justine!
[Phone ringing]
"LP, cadet day on Thursday, I'm working from home!"
(Every Wednesday, Come on Man!)
[LOL]
(LP don't even check the caller ID no more!... What you want, Justine?)

[Roll Call Finale – crowd builds]
And the Dream Team Award goes to...
(Mr. Q and Ali D!)
Mr. Q got the number, Ali D got the pen,
Red tape sees 'em coming like "Oh no, not them again!"
Stamp, stamp, signature, gate pass in a day,
Office hears they're coming and closes for "lunch break"!
(Mr. Q and Ali D! The Dream Team the red tape fears!)
(Red tape: zero. Dream Team: undefeated!)

[Grand Finale – MC voice, horns swell]
And now... the Lifetime Achievement Award...
(LP! LP! LP!)
Larry Poole, the man with the plan,
Keeps us rolling, keeps us steady, whole team in his hand,
Answers every call, all night and day...
(Even Justine's... every Wednesday!)
(Phone on two percent, still picking up!)

[Bridge – Line Dance Call, everybody]
Admin, step! (LSO!)
GRO, step! (Dream Team!)
Nav Ops, step! (Write it down!)
LOGS, step! (Speed it up!)
ELT, step! (KFNA! NFS!)
IT, step! (Plug it in!)
Now everybody turn... and freeze!
(Mohamoud, freeze! Put the plate down!)
(Jubail!)

[Final Chorus – key change, full crew, horns up, pounding drums]
Jubail, we're the best site, everybody knows,
LP keeps us rolling and the whole team grows. (Yeah!)
Shoulder to shoulder, every shift, every day,
Good people, strong leadership, leading the way. (Lead the way!)
Jubail, Jubail, let the whole crew sing,
Proud of what we do and the work we bring!

[Outro – chant fading, crowd cheering]
(Jubail Alert!) Jubail Crew!
(Jubail Alert!) Pound the drum all day!
[Heavy drum pounding, bass drum hits]
(BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!)
(Kain na!) Let's eat, y'all!
(Steve... you get all that?)
(...Can you repeat that last part?)
[Crowd laughs]
[End]