Sparky ocd

I walk on site at 6 AM, coffee in my hand,
Boss says “Run those cables, mate” — according to the plan.
But I can’t start the switchboard till the labels all align,
If the zip ties face different ways, I’m losing my damn mind.

I straighten all the conduits with a laser and a stare,
Someone bent the cable tray? I’m filing workplace care.
The apprentices all fear me when I pull out my tape,
Cause every GPO’s identical or somebody gets scraped.

(Pre-Chorus)
And if your screws ain’t vertical,
I’m calling it a crime,
I’ll spend three extra hours
Making junction boxes prime.

(Chorus)
Cause I got sparky OCD,
Everything’s gotta be perfectly neat for me.
TPS lined up like a symphony,
Even my cable drums got symmetry.
Don’t cross active with the neutral please,
You’ll trigger all my anxiety.
I’m the only bloke alive who’d broom the roof cavity —
Got that sparky OCD.

(Verse 2)
The boys all laugh at lunchtime, say “Relax, mate, she’ll do,”
But “she’ll do” is how you end up with a burnt-out breaker too.
I torque the screws exactly till they click just right in place,
And if the panel’s crooked by a mil I see disgrace.

I colour-code the ferrules like I’m painting bloody art,
Test and tag the toaster cause safety’s in my heart.
Had a dream the RCDs were tripping through the night,
Woke up sweating, checked the board — and everything’s alright.

(Bridge)
One earth, two earth, three earth, four,
Checking continuity once more.
Megger test, polarity,
This condition’s part of me.

(Final Chorus)
Yeah I got sparky OCD,
Can’t leave the site till it looks factory.
My multimeter’s basically family,
And my tool bag’s organised clinically.
If your conduit saddles aren’t evenly spaced,
I’ll silently judge your whole workplace.
But when the lights come on so beautifully —
That’s the joy of sparky OCD.