Screams in the mirror

Every morning in the mirror, I face my reflection,
a belly that screams at me, a face I don’t desire.
Minutes turn into hours of horror,
my mind repeats: "You are not enough, there is no love."
The echoes of compliments feel so empty,
"Beautiful," they say with smiles, but they’re just challenges.
I laugh with sadness, my heart tears apart,
every filter I try is just a bitter memory.
I've done diets and exercises, seeking perfection,
but the mirror returns the same frustration.
Should I starve myself to reach that goal?
My body longs for the mold of a complete figure.
Since I was little, I've carried this weight in my chest,
a desire to be a model, a perfect and narrow body.
My friends shine like stars on the net,
while I hide behind shadows of what I won’t be.
I want to be a canvas, scream my own destiny,
tighten my jeans, but I feel like I'm choking on the way.
Let my bones show through, let my skin cry for more,
your gaze doesn’t hurt as much as the emptiness that gives me peace.
Since childhood dreaming of bodies that shine on screen,
losing myself in the shadows of a world that fails me.
When I wear that crop top, my arms are my shelter,
covering insecurities born from punishment.
When will I be able to wear that shirt without feeling fragile?
The clock ticks on and my heart continues its journey.
Comparisons are poisons flooding my mind,
every girl on Instagram seems so different.
Singers and models look at me from the screen,
and I just wish to break this bitter battle.
I want to be a canvas, scream my own destiny,
tighten my jeans, but I feel like I'm choking on the way.
Let my bones show through, let my skin cry for more,
your gaze doesn’t hurt as much as the emptiness that gives me peace.
Since childhood dreaming of bodies that shine on screen,
losing myself in the shadows of a world that fails me.
Dark thoughts roll like shadows in the night,
the inner voice screams: "You’re not pretty," a reproach.
But there’s a spark within that fights to shine,
a glimmer of hope wanting to awaken.
Life is more than measurements or faces online,
it’s learning to love ourselves beyond what they say too.
So even if the road is full of thorns and tears,
I will learn to dance with my imperfections in song.
I wish for a world without mirrors or hurtful voices,
where self-love blooms and fears die away.
Leaving behind doubts and fear but for me that's impossible; it’s a challenge... I'm consuming myself...