Failed Suicide

My dark past began the day you couldn’t win the struggle with the disease.
I was a child and no longer understood the world, everything broke up above me.
The rubble triggered emotions I shouldn’t have at my young age.
From fear and despair to anger raged within
My last resort was to follow you to see you again. To end everything and to leave. But death was not kind to me, I tried several times to see you after standing in the rain, but in the end every attempt was just another failed suicide
My life was marked by the loss, didn’t learn how to deal with the emotions, got cold, isolated myself, didn’t tell anyone what was the trigger for the change in my attitude
But you were always there for me, even if I didn’t see you anymore, your presence led me to this one place that I can call home. And everyone that knew you now says I remind them of you. I am proof that you live on.
My last resort was to follow you to see you again. To end everything and to leave. But death was not kind to me, I tried several times to see you after standing in the rain, but in the end every attempt was just another failed suicide
but I failed because you prevented it again and again from beyond.
My last resort was to follow you to see you again. To end everything and to leave. But death was not kind to me, I tried several times to see you after standing in the rain, but in the end every attempt was just another failed suicide