Toast to the Weirdest Ones

[Intro]
[Upbeat acoustic guitar, accordion, and heavy foot stomps]

[Verse 1]
[Solo Baritone Vocal]
There once was a leader named Vladimir
Who stood five-foot-seven, as we all hear
Next to Daniel Chapo, so towering high
He looked like a hobbit, my!

[Chorus]
[Full Crew Gang Vocals, Stomp-Clap Beat]
Soon may the madness come
To bring us laughs and history’s fun
One day when the crazy’s done
We’ll toast to the weirdest ones!

[Verse 2]
[Solo Vocal]
Adolf ate chocolate by the two-pound pack
Put sugar in wine, and he never looked back
Wore Borat’s neon green mankini tight
While Jadwiga was crowned a "King" outright!

[Chorus]
[Full Crew Gang Vocals]
Soon may the madness come
To bring us laughs and history’s fun
One day when the crazy’s done
We’ll toast to the weirdest ones!

[Verse 3]
Pope Alexander threw a chestnut ball
With fifty fair ladies who danced in the hall
Pope John Paul Two loved his kremówki sweet
And ditched his own guards for a mountain retreat!

[Chorus]
[Full Crew Gang Vocals]
Soon may the madness come
To bring us laughs and history’s fun
One day when the crazy’s done
We’ll toast to the weirdest ones!

[Verse 4]
Queen Liz told some tourists in Scotland’s breeze
"No, I haven't met her, ask the copper, please!"
King Charles got caught in a pouring rain
With a purple nose from a cold and pain!

[Verse 5]
Camilla walked off with the brolly dry
And left the poor monarch beneath the sky
While Churchill spoke straight with a sharp retort
A titan of grit and the toughest sort!

[Instrumental Break]
[Fast Fiddle and Accordion Solo with Foot Stomps]

[Verse 6]
Donald Tusk climbed chimneys high in the air
Without a single worry or care
While the Kaczyński twins stole the moon on screen
With a bachelor cat and a president seen!

[Verse 7]
Zelenskyy once played a comic on screen
The funniest president ever seen
Then war hit his land and the jokes had to end
With a nation of fighters left to defend!

[Verse 8]
Then Donald Trump came with a jokester’s flair
With the famous dance and the golden hair
He’s cracking up crowds with the things he’s done
And over on TikTok, he’s number one!

[Verse 9]
Niyazov banned radios passing by
Caligula’s horse took a consul’s seat high
Kim Jong Il never needed a toilet break
And LBJ drove guests straight into a lake!

[Verse 10]
Berlusconi jumped out yelling, "Cuckoo!" loud
Charles Sixth wore iron to dodge the crowd
While Abe joked his ugly face couldn't go back
And Louis the Spider wore lead on his hat!

[Chorus]
[Full Crew Gang Vocals, Stomp-Clap Beat]
Soon may the madness come
To bring us laughs and history’s fun
One day when the crazy’s done
We’ll toast to the weirdest ones!

[Verse 11]
[Acoustic Guitar and Vocal Only]
Violetta Villas had a heart so grand
She rescued four hundred strays on her land
A black cat crossed her path one day
So she turned an Oscar film away!

[Verse 12]
[Full Band Kicks Back In]
Bowie hired a witch for his swimming pool
While Ozzy wore a dress and broke every rule
He peed by the Alamo late at night
And got banned from Texas out of sight!

[Verse 13]
Sinatra took whiskey and smokes to his grave
With a roll of dimes just in case he’d crave
While Paul dreamed a tune that became world-famous
And sang about scrambled eggs to entertain us!

[Verse 14]
Keith slept through a riff while he snored on tape
Elvis flew for a sandwich of giant shape
And Cash fought an ostrich right in his yard
His leather belt saved him when it kicked hard!

[Outro]
[Building Tempo, Loud Foot Stomps]
Pepin the Short fought a lion with pride
With all of these legends along for the ride
From Vatican pastries to floating cars
And rockstars to kings and bizarre old czars!

[Final Chorus]
[Acapella Gang Vocals with Heavy Stomps and Claps]
Soon may the madness come
To bring us laughs and history’s fun
One day when the crazy’s done
We’ll toast to the weirdest ones!

[Big Pub Cheer and Final Chord]
[End]