Forest honey ... A shirt with a round collar ...

Are you looking for forest honey
A woman
A shirt with a round collar
An interesting TV film
A mosquito repellent spray
A book with 13,200 poems
A dog that bites everyone
I have everything you need.


Transfer a four-digit sum of your choice to me
and I will get you everything, but only after a background check
If the delivery has not arrived after, say, 7 years,
you will have passed the test with flying colours.
You will receive free grave maintenance for life
and the grave will be planted with carnivorous ivy.
We are the only ones who have this variety!

If all this seems very strange to you,
you will be punished by being sent to Iceland to take a six-month course
for pickpockets.
If you still haven't come to your senses,
you will be sentenced to twelve months of solitude in Palermo.

Bravo! You have finally come to your senses. Bravo!
A terraced house, a loving wife, a dog, children
and a good job. You supply creative people
with crazy orders and always only after payment in advance.

[chorus]
What a pity, what a pity, I would so love to be in your place,
but I'm too stupid and too shy for anything, and women sense
that life with me would supposedly be horribly boring.
I pray every night that someday a woman will find me charming and I won't always have to read E. Bove.

When I get married, I'll place a full-page ad
so the world will understand: He did it, this exceptionally
charming person!!!